Unveiling a Secret.
Today was a.. strange day. I am have officially passed the one week mark of my recovery after a minor surgery and it was the final day of my daughters holiday in Greece. This meant I was going to make the most of it by going out for a beer with a friend.
Several beers in, I was chatting with him about the barmaid at the pub we were in. He seemed to believe that she was interested in me in ways other than as a customer. I, rightly, told him he was a fool and a debate raged.
Without getting in to the full details, we argued for a while and the main gist of mine, was that I was most definitely not the sort of person a young woman would be attracted to. He suggested differently and I said, in a fit of what I can only assume to be total idiocy, that I couldn't tell. I was too literal because, I was on the Autistic spectrum.
My friend. That man I had known for twenty years, looked at me. I expected disgust, mistrust, confusion and instead, I got something else. "I know," he said. With those two words my world shattered.
He knew, he'd known for a long time and more to the point, he'd not cared. He understood. I do not think I can adequately describe what that meant to me. I had always been the outsider, the one who was different, unable to find friends. I was strange, weird, different to others. The things I enjoyed were odd. He'd seen that and was my friend regardless.
Autism can be hard on the people around us, more so because we don't realise it is being hard. To have someone know and not care... it was monumental. More so when he'd known for years and not bothered mentioning it because it wasn't needed. He was my friend no matter what.
My friend, this incredible person, had known for years and had treated me the same. He'd been my friend. My best friend in fact and as a friend, he'd accepted my foibles and gone with it. If he had asked me right then, to rob a bank with him, I would have done so.
Day to day life can be hard for me. I don't understand a lot of what other people take for granted and to have someone in my life who realised my difference, when my own family hadn't, who realised and didn't care... it was breathtaking.
I can never adequately say how much his simple declaration meant to me. Words are not enough. He has been my best friend for twenty years and I can honestly say, I feel closer to him than ever before. I love him and always will, because he knows and understands who I am. Something I barely can understand.
Richard
